January Reflections - Coaching, Mentoring or Counselling?

A month to take a moment with ourselves

Here I am, writing the first letter of a new year, though I’ll admit, this wasn’t the one I planned. I’d carefully mapped out six months of topics aligned to my course… and then life happened. One morning, wide awake at 1:49am, this was the topic that kept nudging me: this is the one worth writing about. As I continue this coaching journey, I’m learning as much from you, as readers, as I am from my studies.

One theme that keeps coming up is this: What’s the difference between coaching, counselling, and mentoring? And more importantly… does it really matter?

Interestingly, mentoring itself has ancient roots, tracing back to Greek mythology, where Mentor was the trusted guide to Telemachus, a reminder of the idea of learning through wisdom, experience and relationships has been part of human development for centuries.

After months of writing about transitions, the inner game, clarity, and the power of pause, this question feels like a natural next step. Because once we become more self-aware and intentional, we often start asking not just what we need but who or what kind of support will truly help us move forward.

Understanding the Difference

Some people I’ve spoken to use these terms interchangeably. I know I’ve heard people describe coaching as “a bit like therapy” usually flippantly, and without much thought. But over the past year, that distinction has become very real for me.

Put simply:

• Counselling focuses on understanding emotions, experiences, and patterns, often rooted in the past, to support healing and acceptance.

• Coaching is future-focused, creating space to explore goals, awareness, and potential, with the belief that the answers already sit within you.

• Mentoring draws on the experience of someone who’s walked a similar path, offering guidance, perspective, and shared learning.

Each has a place, and each serves a different purpose.

Why the Difference Matters (through my lived experience lens)

With the volume of transitions I was navigating from 2024 onwards, I noticed emotional patterns that felt overwhelming and unfamiliar. I didn’t feel fully in control, and for someone who loves structure, that felt particularly uncomfortable. I also knew the journey I’d been on would take time (and, it turns out, a lot of tears) to process. Last year, counselling became a non-negotiable, and I’m so glad it did. I didn’t want goals, I didn’t want advice. I wanted someone to listen, to hold space, and to reflect objectively while I made sense of what had happened.

Six sessions later, I walked away with:

• a deeper understanding of my belief system

• acceptance that crying isn’t a problem, it’s information

• awareness of a subconscious inner judgement I hadn’t realised was running the show

Counselling helped me process experiences that felt traumatic, recognise behavioural patterns, and understand where they might come from, gently, safely, and without pressure to “move on”.

From Healing to Growth

Through pausing, reflecting, and really listening inward, something I’ve written about over the past few months, I reached a place of greater clarity about what I needed next. That work created a position of strength. From there, I knew what I wanted coaching and mentoring to help me with. I now have clarity on the questions I want to explore, the goals I want to shape, and the areas where guidance from someone with experience will help stretch my thinking.

For me:

• counselling helped me understand and integrate the past

• coaching helps me move forward with intention

• mentoring supports me where lived experience matters

None is better than the other, it’s about choosing what you need in that moment.

Through experience and training, I've learned the importance of working with properly trained and accredited professionals. Whether it's counselling, coaching or mentoring; certification, ethical frameworks, and ongoing development matter and are something I take seriously in my own practice and learning.

But in simple terms, counselling helped me understand emotions, experiences, and patterns by looking back with compassion. Coaching now gives me space to look forward to explore goals, deepen awareness, and unlock my own answers with intention. And mentoring offers something different again: the opportunity to learn from someone else’s lived experience, drawing on their perspective to inform my own path.

Each plays a distinct role, and together they remind me that growth isn’t one-size-fits-all.

Three takeaways

1. There is a difference and understanding them, helps you choose wisely.

2. Do your research and trust chemistry the relationship matters as much as the method.

3. You don’t have to choose just one, different seasons and scenarios may call for different support.

And for those working with a coach, it is worth knowing there is an element for coach's themselves called supervision. This is an essential part of ethical practice, reflection, and growth, both for the practitioner and the person being supported.

As always, thank you for being here. I hope this reflection has been useful, and I’d love to hear your thoughts or questions. Here’s to a year of choosing the right support, with intention and kindness.